You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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