Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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