I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
