That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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