apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
