Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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