I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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