I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
