I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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