Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
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