He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
