She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
They are going to name an STD after you.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
