Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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