what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
this just has baby written all over it
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
