WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
