Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize