ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize