threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I will pee on everything he values.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
