Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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