Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
