am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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