Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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