Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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