Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
