What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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