you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I need water and some morals
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
