i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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