tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
