HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
