Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
