This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
