im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
