I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
