Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Life is so much better after having sex.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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