Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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