fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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