whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
