i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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