big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
