I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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