Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
