no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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