Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
