I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
