you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
