I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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