Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Randomize
