my vag is so smooth its legendary
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
