Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
