i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
