i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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