he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
