I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
