I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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