Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
