she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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