i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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