he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
