He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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