Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
