I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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