Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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