how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
