Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
