Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
