We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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